Self Improvement

Wow.
It seems that you've got to have a reaaally shitty time to realize just how amazing life is. Last night was horrible...i ended up spending it curled up in a ball on my bed, upset as hell and confused beyond belief. But then this morning...i woke up like a new person. Pulled on my running clothes...i grabbed a mouthful of water and then took off to the byaou to go running. First time i've worked out in like 3 weeks...and it showed. But i'm falling in love with the self improvement thing...with the work out every chance i get. Came home...fixed a breakfast of champions (eggs, potatoes & onions) and then proceeded to spend the day fixing life. I compeletely redid my room, really reclaimed it as mine, and made it a space that i can surrvive sophmore year in. Apologized to the guys i blew off/feaked out last night...and now its chill. Life is chill. And i cant wait to work out again!! perhaps i'll go swimming tonight??

Hyper...?

I barely ate today....(in comparison to life before i started)...yet i was strangely hyper/uplifted...happy even? its as though my soul isn't weighed down by the food i know i shouldn't be eating...and i can FLY. Or atleast skim a few cm above the ground.
B: 1/2 avacodo and 1/2 tomato w/lime juice
L: small frys (burger king...EWWW 230 calories and 13 g fat!!!! wtf...)
S: large carrot w/2tsp peanut butter
S: TBA
D: TBA
not enough h2o...ugh forgot water bottle today =(

Thinspo

I want to be thin
i want a perfect body
and most importantly...
a perfect soul

But i go online...and look at the girls who have given in totally to Ana....and i want something better. I want something permanent. I don't want flabby thiness....i want muscled tightness. I want every muscle in my abs to stand out...to go with my amazing legs. I am an athlete...i use my body in every way. Thus i want to make it perfect. SO my inspiration...my thinspiration is....

THUS>>>
B: small bowel of groundmeat w/oatmeal
L: 2T peanut-butter w/oatmeal
S: same....with date sugar
S: 1/2 cup fried rice
D: 3 small pancakes, 1/4 piece of feta cheese, watermelon and 2T peanut butter

H2O : ...idk?

Outake:
areobic workout for 23 min

bad bad bad day....feel bloated and fat.....can't wait to get up tomorrow and seriously work out!

refuse to measure/photograph self till period is over...but homecoming is in two weeks, and i've got to atleast be started on my path to beautifulness

mmmm

It seems that i have an afinity for m's ....anyways...me and my bro just made like these amazing peanut butter oatmeal cookies!! we had to wait till the coast was clear (everyone else is asleep) and kept quiet by communication through chats...then we snuck out of our respective haunts and put together some of the best cookies i've had in a long time...from scratch of course. However i suspect that we may have awakened dad despite our best intentions...well somebody is going to be cranky in the morning!!
omg...i swear she is so urrrgggggg!(word for which there is no word, only complaining moans) Like today we got hit with the rain from tropical storm Erin (when we got up it was like all grey and nasty and it just kept raining till like 3 in the afternoon..) and so i come down after finishing some homework, and she announces that we are skipping my violin lesson and ballet, because of the "deluge". My first thought was WTF! and then ohhh...i guess she doesn't wanna get stuck out in it. But that wouldn't have been a problem because the ground clearance of all our vehicles is amazing, plus they're out fitted with nasty weather tires.... so then im wondering if she's just out to make my day miserable because she missed sleep or something...anyways she never really gave me a straight answer as to exactly why she decided this. Yet on the bright side, i get to make up the class i missed with J.F., this really cool girl i've never danced with...
and on to more worrisome topics...
what do you do when somebody just gives up on their dream in life, and stops trying?? when all they can say is if if if if i had only.... and they don't even think forwards?? how do you even approach them about it, particularly if they leave the room every time you try to bring it up, and guilt you into shutting up?? do you just let them hang, and basically deal with it on their own? or do you try to take matters into your own hands and make a difference in their life, even if they perceive it as muddling where one has no business??? i just don't know..and im not naming names...so this is entirely hypothetical...and internal quandary...
ok..enough deep thoughts for now
later

wince

OMG OMG!! Ballet just started up again!!!!! (internal yippeee) My first class of the year was last night...i went, i danced, and i came home and slept..and then i got up this morning and my first thought was owwwwwwww..and my legs screamed that somebody pushed herself way to hard last night and knew it too...when will common sense take over?? Well, as it was the first day, the class was fairly easy by my standards, yet the new girls were seriously struggling to do even basic leaping combinations (my fav ;))...and some couldn't even do cabrioles..so he made everyone practice them, which got me thinking way to hard about them, and then proceeding to mess them up (urrrggg)!! So anyway..next class is tomarrow...and i hope i'll be able to FINALLY do my pirouette on pointe :)
So anyway high school is starting up in like two weeks, and the fish camp is next tuesday...it'll be cool to see all the friends i haven't even heard from in like the last 3 months!! yet it'll be kinda sad...as all the people who just had to got to cinco or even worse..move far far away...*tear*...
all for now

cha...

Ok, so i finally got a laptop that i can use regularly (took FOREVER..) and now i can like actually post alot, and really have a true personal blog...well anyway, i'm trying to clean up the trash i put on it when i was like 12 and really fustrated with like the whole world pretty much. I'm a different person now, and it's really strange to read those old posts and realize that it was something that i ACTUALLY wrote. So i changed a few things, to better reflect who and what i am now..and let the blogging begin!!...heh...

omg this guy is so good!!

as seen bellow, there is a new rock star in town!!! this guy, Micah Walker is from my bro's school and is sooo hot! plus he's an awesome singer!! no, i didn't do the camera work, friend did. But still, totally worth watching!